How to Get Your Phone Back from Your Parents: A Full Guide

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Psychologists share how to show your parents you can handle a phone

Co-authored by Gera Anderson, PsyD and Marcus Pruitt, BS

Last Updated: October 22, 2025 Fact Checked

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Talking to Your Parents

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Meeting Their Expectations

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Keeping Your Phone

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Q&A

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Tips

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Warnings

Having your phone taken away by your parents is a relatively common punishment, and it often feels like one of the worst ones. They may have taken it for good reason, though, in which case it’s important to show that you’re responsible enough to have your phone back. In this article, we work alongside various licensed clinical psychologists to explain how to get your phone back, from having that initial conversation with your parents to showcasing your responsibility so you can get your phone back. Read on for a step-by-step guide on getting your phone back after your parents have taken it away.

Getting Your Phone Back From Strict Parents

Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Gera Anderson, PsyD, says to talk to your parents to understand their point of view on why you lost your phone. Explain yourself and apologize. Ask what you can do to get back into their good graces, then do those things to show you’re responsible and can use your phone responsibly.

Part 1

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Talking to Your Parents About Your Phone

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Determine the best time to talk to your parents. Select a good time and place to talk to your parents. Make sure that you are in a private location, like the car or your home, before initiating the conversation. Don’t begin the conversation right before a scheduled event.
- Try not to have the conversation right after your parents get off work, either. They may be tired or stressed from the day and need time to decompress.
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Dr. Gera Anderson, PsyD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over five years of experience specializing in integrated behavioral health, neuropsychological assessment, and pain management.

Desiree Panlilio is a teen life coach and owner of Encouraging Teens, LLC. She specializes in helping teens and young adults set goals and create their life paths.

Dr. Chandler Chang, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Clinical Instructor at the University of Southern California. She has over 20 years of experience.
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Discuss the problem with your parents. Dr. Anderson says to have a conversation with your parents to understand their point of view.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Gera Anderson, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview} Calmly approach your parents to talk about why your parents took your phone away. If you don’t know why your phone was taken, you will not know the best way to get it returned.
- Give yourself time to cool off before having the conversation. Do not talk to your parents when you are angry with them for taking your phone.
- Say something along the lines of, “I don’t mean to press for information, I just wanted to know why you took my phone away? Was it because of something I did, or is there something else going on?”
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When your parents talk to you about what you did wrong, make sure you are actively listening to them so you can take their words to heart. Avoid thinking about what you want to say in response. Instead, think carefully about what they are saying so that you can respond thoughtfully and respectfully.^{[2]
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Express your feelings. Reflect on your parents’ complaints to understand how you feel about their complaints. Then, express to them how this makes you feel. Discuss your side of the story with them so they have a better understanding of why the mistake happened.^{[3]
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- For example, if your parents took your phone away because of bad grades, explain why your grades are bad. Don’t blame them on other people, either. Take accountability and tell them how your actions led to the bad grades.
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Apologize for your mistake. Teen life coach Desiree Panlilio says to own up to your mistake and make a sincere apology to your parents.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Desiree Panlilio
Teen Life Coach

Expert Interview} They’re likely trying to teach you a lesson by taking your phone away, so apologize to start recognizing and correcting your mistake. Then, give them time to think and discuss it privately. This shows that you’re mature and understand that they need to talk and think.^{[5]
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Harvard Medical School
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- Avoid begging for your phone back after the apology, as it suggests your apology was insincere. Instead, focus on doing what your parents have requested to get your phone back.
- Be genuine with your apology. Don’t just apologize because you think it will get your phone back. Explain the actions that you’re sorry for and talk about how you plan on making sure they don’t happen again.
Once you have fully discussed the problem with your parents, request a plan to get your phone back. Dr. Anderson says to “ask them if there are some ways that you can prove that you are responsible and capable.”^{[6]
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Expert Source

Gera Anderson, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview} Be sure to discuss a timeline and list of steps that you need to take.

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Meeting Your Parents’ Expectations

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Correct your wrongdoing and take on more responsibilities. Your parents are likely to give you a set of expectations that must be met to get your phone returned. Work diligently to meet these expectations. For example, if your phone usage costs your parents a lot of money, they might request that you pay that portion of the bill. Find jobs and chores that you can do to earn some extra money to pay off that debt.
- If your parents took your phone away because of poor grades, study every night to ensure that your grades improve. Show your parents your next test grade to prove that you are taking your grades seriously.
- Reader Poll: We asked 968 wikiHow readers and 79% of them agreed that taking notes leads to better grades. [Take Poll] So that might be a good place to start if you’re trying to do better in school and impress your parents!
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Consistently meet your parents’ requests. You need to prove to your parents that you take their concerns seriously and will not repeat your mistake. You can prove this to them by repeatedly meeting their requests, instead of simply meeting them when you get in trouble. For example, if you know they’re going to ask you to clean the house, consistently have your chores done before they ask to show them you’re responsible.
- This will also help prevent your phone from being taken away in the future.
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Work with your parents to determine responsible phone usage. Once you get your phone back, it is important to use it properly. Have a discussion with your parents on when you can and cannot use your phone. This will show them that you’re willing to work with them and put boundaries in place to be responsible with your phone usage.^{[7]
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- Discuss a phone curfew. Decide on a location where your phone will go at night to be charged. Determine if this curfew is different on weekends or weekdays.
- Avoid using your phone when you are at the dinner table, in class, or driving. By understanding these basic phone etiquette rules, you are demonstrating responsibility to your parents.

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Demonstrating Responsibility to Keep Your Phone

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Avoid exceeding your monthly phone plan. If you do not pay your phone bill, you may not totally understand your phone plan. Your phone bill will be considerably more expensive if you exceed your phone plan, so try not to. Discuss this plan with your parents to get a better idea of your data limits when not connected to WiFi.^{[8]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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- Figure out if you have unlimited data or a cap on your data. From there, determine how much data you can use and how to avoid going over your limit.
- Ask your parents if you have any roaming or international calling restrictions. It might cost more to make calls or send texts out of your state or country.
When your parents set boundaries for your phone usage, respect those boundaries. For example, if they say they don’t want you to use your phone after 10 PM, don’t use your phone after 10 PM. Not only will this show that you’re responsible, but it is key to preventing your phone from being taken away again. Use your phone responsibly by respecting the boundaries your parents put in place.^{[9]
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Demonstrate responsibility in other ways, like helping around the house. Licensed clinical psychologist Chandler Chang, PhD, says to “demonstrate how responsible you are by offering to start doing your laundry once a week or taking care of something around the house to demonstrate that you’re ready.”^{[10]
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Expert Source

Chandler Chang, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview}
- If you do this with the intention of genuinely helping out around the house, it can help show your parents that you’re willing to take on more responsibilities (and lessen your screen time in the process).
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Show that you can handle your responsibilities with access to technology. Dr. Anderson says to “prove that you are capable of being responsible with more freedom by following through with the responsibilities and freedoms you have now.”^{[11]
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Expert Source

Gera Anderson, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview} That looks like taking care of your chores before getting on the game or finishing your homework before getting on your laptop.
- Be consistent if you want to get your phone back
- By showing that you can handle your responsibilities with technology in your life, you can help your parents realize that you don’t need your phone taken away to get things done.

Community Q&A

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Question

My mom changes my phone password every night. How do I make her trust me? I've done nothing wrong.

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Try having a conversation with her about this. Your mom deserves to know that this upsets her. Ask her what she needs in order to trust you with your phone.

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What if it's because of bad grades?

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Talk to your parents about your grades. Figure out what your grades need to be in order to get your phone returned. Then, work on keeping your grades up so you can prevent your phone from being taken again.

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My phone was taken away and I can't find it. How can I find it?

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Talk to your parents about how you can get your phone back. If you steal your phone back you will probably get in even more trouble.

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Tips

If they say no, it’s alright. Give it a little time, but if after multiple weeks or months, they don’t let you have it back, sit down and have a real conversation, making sure you are mature about it.

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Explain that you aren’t desperate and aren’t so attached to it that you must have it, but you would appreciate it if you could use it to stay in touch with friends and family.

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Try to find a deal you can make that works for you and your parents. Make this a win-win situation.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Even if you try everything to get your phone back, you may not succeed for a very long time, even months. Relax, it's not the end of the world. Also, when a situation comes up where having your phone would have been in your parents' favor (i.e., contacting somebody via text message when your parents say that you 'never talk to so-and-so' or setting an alarm when you have no other options) choose your response carefully and cautiously—it may turn the situation around.
The first thing you should do to get your phone back is think about what you did wrong. For example, I was paying more attention to my phone than my math and I was really struggling with it. So, recently I started paying more attention to my homework and I offered to only use my phone after schoolwork and for my alarm clock and it seems to be working.
Try and be consistent. When you get your phone back, do not go back to your old habits. If you go back to your old habits, it will be taken away again. If you have trouble being consistent when your parents ask you to do something, try asking them to keep the phone until you have properly finished the task you have been assigned.
Writing a letter may be the best thing. I tried it and it worked! But make sure you explain that you're not doing this just to get your phone back (even though you may be)—tell them you actually understand what you did wrong and how you'll fix it in the future.

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Warnings

Despite your efforts, your parents may decide not to return your phone. Avoid pushing back on this, or else they may decide to keep your phone for the foreseeable future.

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